The One With the Freudean Slip
by Darkly Dreaming
Summary: Penny is Ross. Leonard is Emily. I think Amy is Joey, and that's just weird when I think about it, but oddly accurate. I suppose I should rate this T because Penny's hungover, but I'm rating it K because I don't care.


A/N: I apologize profusely in advance. I started this at 3am while watching Friends. That should tell you everything. I also apologize for my absence. My muse is dead. It doesn't help that I stopped watching the show months ago.

Enjoy, and remember: Reviews are my only payment.

* * *

Amy stared sympathetically at her bestie, lying despondently on the floor.

"As his former paramour, I see the appeal, but I didn't know _you_ saw the appeal."

Penny, without moving a muscle, muffled into the rug, "Of course I see the appeal, I'm blonde, not blind! Ooooowwww."

Penny was still in her wedding dress from the night before and her hangover was telling her living was a bad idea. Amy got her a glass of water and helped her up onto the couch.

"Sheldon and I voided our relationship agreement nine months ago," Amy whispered for the benefit of her friend. "Why didn't you make your move, oh, I don't know, _any time before you accepted Leonard's proposal?!_"

Penny's eyes screwed up and a few tears escaped. "I don't know, Ames! I was never sure how he would react! If he threw it back in my face I couldn't bare it! He's one of my best friends! And then Leonard proposed and it was like 'Maybe Leonard's the best I can do! At least I know he loves me.'"

Amy sighed and shook her head. "Oh, Bestie. Who could resist a beautiful blonde angel such as yourself? No one's that strong. Not even Sheldon."

"But I'm not smart at all, Amy," she whined. "He'll get bored of me! We have practically nothing in common."

"You've known the man how long?" Amy asked. "Has he told you to get lost yet? When you get on each others' nerves, what happens? You don't have to have anything in common. You just have to want to be in the others' presence."

Penny pulled the throw blanket over her eyes. "Ugh. You're right, Amy. But what if this is the straw that breaks the...whatever. What if?"

"What if it's the thing that brings you together? You'll never know if you don't put yourself out there. You taught me that."

"I did?"

"You did. And look where it got me: I'm with a great guy and we have great sex. Take a leaf out of your own book and be a big ol' five."

Penny was silent for a while. Just when Amy thought she'd passed out again she whispered, "Ok. But I have to shower first. And change. And possibly burn this dress."

"Or you could sell it online."

"Or I could sell it online."

~*DD*~*DD*~*DD*~

Later that morning, Penny was refreshed and over her hangover for the most part. Leonard was on their honeymoon vacation alone to get away from everyone, so she knew Sheldon was alone.

Apparently it's extremely embarassing for your bride to say your best friend's name during your wedding.

Penny opened her door to go talk to Sheldon and almost ran into him, his hand raised to knock. It quickly went to his neck just in case.

"Penny, it's 11:00am and we need to talk."

Penny sighed. "Yes, Sheldon, we do. Come in."

Sheldon sat in his spot in her apartment and she sat with her legs curled up on the couch, as far away from him as she could get.

"Penny, you said my name at your wedding." Blunt as always.

"Yeah."

"But you were marrying Leonard." That innocently confused look always got her.

"Yup."

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

That shut him up for once. He just sat there with his 'I'm going to figure out the secrets of the universe' look. The silence persisted for a while, but Penny couldn't take it.

"Well? Say something!"

Instead, he moved closer to her.

"I've analyzed our interactions from the time we met until the present and have come to the conclusion that I also love you."

He looked more intense than when he stared at his white board. If he wasn't completely incapable of lying, she might not have believed him. Even so, she was stunned silent.

Suddenly the big ol' five slapped her into gear and she flew into him. It wasn't his first kiss, but it was definitley the most pleasant one to date.

Sheldon was nothing if not a quick learner and things got hot fast. The both stopped, however, when they found themselves shirtless.

"Um. How about lunch?"

"That would be acceptable."


End file.
